9:30 AM – My alarm clock beckons me to return from dreamland. I decline the invitation by slapping the snooze button with random, albeit amazing accuracy.

9:39 AM – I wonder why the snooze button is only nine minutes long and curse the non-procrastinating creator of this function. I reach for my iPhone to see what I planned for myself today. Yoga at 10:30 AM. Yoga?! All I know about yoga is that bald Indian guy that used to shoot fire from the Street Fighter video game, “Yoga flame!”. I surf my iPhone for Tetris and wonder if I can squeeze in nine or ten levels before I realize that it’ll be too late to make it to yoga…

9:53 AM – I step out of the shower and remember that the character from the video game was called Dhalsim, “Yoga fire!”

10:06 AM – I finish my protein shake breakfast and glare at my shoes sitting at my front door. If I put those on, I’m committed to trying this yoga thing. I try to rationalize why I would sign myself up for this class. I remember a Sensei of mine telling me how beneficial yoga is for stretching and how cleansed he felt afterwards. I shrug my shoulders and reach for my shoes.

10:11 AM – Construction. I wonder why I never see anyone working at a road construction site. Is it some new union rule I don’t know about. I mean, there are four guys just standing there. Do they need dirt or something? Where’s the dirt guy? What do they need?! Why are they just standing there?! Do something! I wish my job allowed me to do nothing. I wish I could just stand around and drink coffee… Mmm coffee! Is there a Starbucks around here?

10:14 AM – Construction take two. Nothing has changed except I might just get one of those oat fudge bars to go with my mocha. I hear the radio station deejay inform me that Jimi Hendrix has a new album coming out… That can’t be right. What year is this?

10:21 AM – I’ve realized that the people leaning on shovels has a negative impact on my ability to drive. My blood pressure is rising and new obscenities start forming in my head. Not only have I lost about ten minutes of my life due to this new union rule, but now there won’t be any Starbucks in my immediate future – and I really wanted that oat fudge bar.

10:26 AM – I’m running up two flights of stairs with two gym bags, a yoga mat, a towel and a bottle of water. A large man wearing a sleeveless black shirt and a grimace shakes his head as I budge by him. I imagine him silently judging me as a New-Age version of Pig-Pen from Peanuts. Less dirt, more Lululemon.

10:29 AM – I tentatively walk into a very warm odd room which resembles a backwards lower case ‘B’. The room is inhabited by nine women who all look at me simultaneously. I wonder why there aren’t any guys here. Am I in the right class? Why is it so hot? There’s a woman at the front of class. I introduce myself and proclaim that I’ve never taken yoga before. She smiles and welcomes me. Her name is Judy and her smile is warm. I like her immediately. There’s only one spot left in this odd shaped room: front row centre. Exactly where the new guy without experience wants to setup…

10:31 AM – Judy has instructed me to do my best and has started playing some calming music through her iPod. Judy welcomes the class to hot yoga. There it is! I knew there had to be a reason it was 100 degrees in here. This music is extremely mellow; definitely not the ‘new’ Jimi Hendrix. She asks the class to cross our legs and close our eyes. I’m told to place my hands on my knees with my palms up if I wish to receive energy or palms down if I am in need of grounding. I didn’t have my coffee, but I choose grounding nonetheless. Judy tells us to concentrate on our breathing. Six seconds in, eight seconds out. I comply. Strangely, I feel a little bit more relaxed even after a just few breaths. Am I breathing right? I’m told to exhale all the outside worries and negative thoughts away and breathe in new air. I comply. “Release the tension from the drive over”. How does Judy know about my construction laden travel time? I don’t remember Dhalsim being clairvoyant… although I do remember him being blue at times.

10:38 AM – I’m holding a pose call downward dog. The sweat drips from my brow and splatters gently on my mat like a dew drop falling from one leaf to another. Six seconds in, eight seconds out. Deep breaths. Judy calmly requests we change poses.

10:43 AM – I’m sipping my water and I receive a smile from Judy. Yes, I’m doing well. Better than well, I feel great!

10:52 AM – My right leg is bent ninety degrees, my left leg is straight behind me. My left elbow is on my right thigh, palm up. My right hand is placed on my left hand, elbow to the sky. Six seconds in, eight seconds out. My thoughts have left me. I am serene.

11:12 AM – Sweat drips from my chin. I am balanced on my right foot with my left foot resting on my inner thigh; left knee to my side. My arms are raised to the sky as is my gaze. I am accepting new energy and dispelling negative thoughts. I am breathing. I am serene.

11:23 AM – I am laying prone on my mat. Judy is no longer speaking to me but speaking for me. I am nowhere but lying prone on my mat. My thoughts are at rest. My breathing is pure.

11:29 AM – Judy is thankful for our ability to share this experience with her. I am thankful for her sharing with me.

11:33 AM – I take my first breath of winter air in an hour. I inhale deeply. The air is cool to my lungs and to my face. A lowered car zips by me in the parking lot driven by a teenager with a baseball hat tilted sideways. Loud bass emanates from the trunk. I notice that the air smells of pine. I feel like I’ve just taken 100 hot showers: clean. I feel like I could lift a house: strong. I feel like I know what I want to accomplish in life: focused. I smile and head towards large disapproving men in sleeveless shirts; towards road construction; towards a world without Starbucks and rehashed Jimi Hendrix albums. These things suddenly don’t seem as important to me. All that is important to me is the cool air in my lungs and the breeze on my face.

Sources: http://oneyogalife.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/chakra-chart.jpg

http://www.fightersgeneration.com/characters/dhalsim-20.jpg

http://www.fightersgeneration.com/characters/dhalsim-20.jpg

Dave Shindel

David Shindel was born and raised in the Greater Vancouver Area. Although David has never played any professional sports, he has been involved in an active lifestyle including just about every sport known to man and is also an accomplished martial artist in several disciplines. David brings a fun and comedic approach to topics regarding health, fitness and sports while retaining substance and core values.

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