Every year, without fail, I attempt to put my body through the metaphorical blender and whip myself into shape. Inevitably, I find that in order to do so, it typically isn’t as smooth a blend as I’d like and the mess usually ends up on my credit card statement.

On top of my fitness bills, I also find that based on my tight schedule, that it isn’t feasible to get to my gym or my group fitness regularly, leaving a random pattern which chaos theorists can barely decipher.

Therefore, I have attempted to create the ultimate guide to living room fitness – just in time for all you New Years resolution types.

With the help of some household items, I have created a quick and fairly simple design to get a light full-body workout without spending extra cash and conducting these exercises between the 7-8 minute intervals of your favourite television show commercial respites. So, put the Slap-Chop guy on mute, for we’re about to get physical!

Please note that in lieu of typical cardiovascular training, this program uses anaerobic cardiovascular training.

First break – Upper body

* Stairs: Yes, I said it, stairs. Those same treacherous steps, that when climbing to the top, arms full of groceries while trying to avoid children’s toys and small pets, will be the catalyst for your toning and heart rate increase. It’s important to get the blood flowing quickly and what better way than ascending and descending your very own carpeted Grouse Grind. Do this for 45 seconds.

* Push-ups: This can be done by either placing your feet on the bottom step to increase resistance or placing your knees on the floor to decrease pressure and weight. Do this for 30 seconds.

* Triceps Dips: Using the bottom stair, sit in the direction of how you would descend properly, not like the girl from the The Exorcist. In fact, if that’s how you take stairs, there’s no need to read on because you’re beyond any help that I can give you.

Moving on, walk out while keeping your hands placed on the second or third step in order to create three 90 degree angles: one with your knees, one with your hips, and one with your elbows.

This should leave your bum inches from the floor. Proceed to push your body up by your arms and down again until you reach the original position. Do this for 30 seconds.

* Phone Book Shoulder Raises: The name says it all. Stand erect with slightly bent knees while holding a phone book from the top and bottom. Take the phone book from your waist and raise it with your arms extended to your shoulder height, using a pendulum motion. Do this for 30 seconds.

Hustle back to the TV, and don’t forget to sip a little water. In order to stay warm, you can march with knees high in one spot, or you can perform some light stretching.

Second Break – Lower body

* Stairs: You didn’t really think it was over, did you? Hustle up! We’ve got a sweat to create! Do this for 45 seconds.

* Squats: Keep your feet double shoulder width apart and your back straight. Drop your weight until your legs are bent 90 degrees and then push with your legs to stand. Repeat this technique for 30 seconds.

* Lunges: With your feet shoulder width apart, take one step forward with your hands on your hips bending both legs to reach 90 degrees. Step back with your originally moved leg so that you are in the position you started from. Repeat this technique with the opposite leg. Perform this drill for 30 seconds.

* Calf Raises: Head back to the stairs and step up on the first platform with only the balls of your feet. Drop your heels over the edge, but don’t fall. Once balanced, push up on your toes to maximize your height to its full potential (i.e. Tippy Toes). Repeat drill for 30 seconds.

Time for your show to resume and don’t forget some water.

Third Break – Core

* Stairs: C’mon, one more. 45 seconds.

* Sit-ups: Change things up by also including a wall or couch to place your legs on and target certain abdominal areas. Perform as many as you can in one minute.

* Plank: Using only your elbows and toes and keeping your back inline with your legs (i.e. straight), hold yourself in position until the commercial break ends – which should be just over one minute.

These three routines will fit into a 30 minute television programs designated commercial time slots. However, it’s best to try and rotate through three repetitions per workout (1.5 hours of TV) and then rest every second day.

Remember, the key to staying fit is repetition of your workout program and proper eating habits. Don’t expect to see any results if you are starting the daily routine with Frito Lays crumbs on your t-shirt.

Another great tip to maintain your workouts is to track your results. You can create a spreadsheet where information can be updated in a matter of minutes and it truly makes a difference.

These workouts may not be the be all end all of fitness, but, they are effective techniques that, when performed properly and followed by ingesting protein within 30 minutes, will result in muscle tone and definition.

Dave Shindel

David Shindel was born and raised in the Greater Vancouver Area. Although David has never played any professional sports, he has been involved in an active lifestyle including just about every sport known to man and is also an accomplished martial artist in several disciplines. David brings a fun and comedic approach to topics regarding health, fitness and sports while retaining substance and core values.

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